inmylife - i love you more

prioritize

2010-04-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

i think all of my friends have been waiting to hear this,
IM SORRY.

i'm sorry i haven't made time for anybody else except for him.
i'm sorry i haven't made an effort to make that time.
i'm sorry i haven't been around.
i'm sorry i've been flaking.
i'm just sorry.

i hate letting people down, and i know i have these past couple of months.

i just have different priorities, and i'd rather be spending my only down time with him because i don't get much down time from school + 20-40 hr work weeks.

i never thought i'd end up being one of those girls who were so obsessed with their boyfriends, but i've finally found something worth it, and it's actually working really well. i can't seem to function when we're not together. needy much? i think so.

so this is my open letter to my friends,
i love you.
i'm sorry.

2010-02-01T19:20:00.000-08:00

i really love this random picture of us.

2010-01-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

LEGAL TO DRINK.

hello adult life!

2009 love horoscope

2009-12-31T18:29:00.000-08:00

via yahoo horoscopes.

it's the yearly 2009 love horoscope. if i read this last january, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't have believed it. i'm still suprised anything happened, but i'm thankful that something did.

Year 2009 Romantic

Through finding more creative ways to express yourself, your love life will blossom as well. This shift helps you become more comfortable with a loving and philosophical relationship, and your connection becomes closer. Your desire to prioritize a love relationship deepens. Although in the past you were proud of your individuality, you're realizing the importance a love relationship beyond just yourself and your immediate family.

As you learn to give yourself to another and have your relationship deepen, it helps you break through any discriminating attitudes toward relationships, and to have more confidence in your process. As you continue to accept yourself and enjoy life, you no longer feel the pressure to perform. The peaceful knowing inherent in your love relationship brings deeper meaning to being together, and the relationship brings you abounding joy.

You have abundant optimism and broad appreciation about your relationship. In the autumn, you may be drawn to marriage, as you begin to really understand and embrace the joy of having someone close to you.

falling

2009-12-21T03:27:00.000-08:00

who would've ever thought that the heartless woman wouldn't be so heartless anymore?

i feel full of love.
as mushy gushy as that is to admit.

i definitely feel strong about what i have. my only hope is that it doesn't end soon because i would be devastated. i'm taking this day by day and there hasn't been a day where i've been unhappy. that's a good sign right?

it's so refreshing to be celebrating this holiday season not bitter.

black friday

2009-11-27T14:39:00.000-08:00

SUCCESS.

i got all the friends dvds :D!!
you have NO CLUE how long i've been waiting to own those dvds. friends is my all time favorite show, and i am STOKED to get the dvds, especially for that cheap.

also bought a tom tom 340XLS
the office season 4
the dark knight
forgetting sarah marshall

and my parents bought a 50 inch plasma!!

thanksgiving

2009-11-26T15:49:00.000-08:00

it's finally that time of the year again.
that time where it's all centered around food, family, friends, and a whole lot of love.

i have to admit, i think thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. it's just nice to sit around the house with food everywhere. a little football, movies, internet time! no stress of school or work. i love it ;] it's such a shame that the holidays have to be overshadowed with finals right around the corner, but let's not lie to ourselves, nobody cares when you have delicious food and a comfy couch around!

i have so much to be thankful for this year. it's been hectic with alot of ups and downs but even then, it's been filled with alot of laughs. i'm thankful i'm closing out the year different from most.. not so heartless anymore. thank you for getting me out of my bitter rut..

thank you to everyone for being great friends. i don't know where i'd be without you all <3

dedication

2009-11-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

its

2009-11-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

official

lesson of the day

2009-11-06T01:08:00.000-08:00

i think from what i've learned in the past 24 hours..
1. do not get sick. going to the hospital SUCKS. i haven't gotten the flu or anything that bad yet, but friends of mine have and they looked like death. a friend of mine went to the ER last night due to a really bad virus.. the ER is definitely not a place you want to stay at for 3 hours.

THE MORE IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNED:

2. LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS.

you can't give your love and respect away to another human being if you can't even accept yourself. if you don't love yourself, you'll be living in constant uncertainty. who wants that? it took me years to figure it out. for years, i thought i was single because i wasn't good enough. i realized that i was single because when i was younger and naive, i always needed a boy to personify me. i needed a boy to make me feel better about myself. i learned throughout the years that i was rediscovering myself and learning to really like who i've become. now... now at this time in life... i'm finally ready to share all this. it's taken years, but i think i'm finally doing this the right way and that's because i know exactly who i am as a person and what i want with life, love, and happiness.

as my best friend jeseline always said to me,
"carpe diem bitch"

SEIZE THE DAY!

in too deep

2009-11-05T04:06:00.000-08:00

because i'm in too deep,
and i'm trying to keep,
up above in my head,
instead of going under.

alright kids,
i think it's kinda official.
i am way in too deep.

but for the first time, i think i'm kinda okay with it.
we compliment one another.

2009-11-02T02:29:00.000-08:00

untouchable
like a distant diomand sky
i'm reaching out and i just can't tell you why
i'm caught up in you, i'm caught up in you
untouchable
burning brighter than the sun
and when you're close i feel like coming undone

in the middle of the night
when i'm in this dream
it's like a million little stars
spelling out your name
you gotta c'mon c'mon...
say that we'll be together
c'mon c'mon...
little taste of heaven

2009-11-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

WHERE ALL THE GOOD GUYS ARE.

amazing article that just made me realize things.

"Life is too short to be afraid of ruining a friendship, especially if there’s a chance you could be more to one another ... Friendships are as fluid as romances; they can end as suddenly as they can begin. In many ways, they’re overrated. You know what’s not overrated? Love. It’s awesome."

thanks for sharing with me lucia.

happy

2009-10-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

alright, this may sound really cheesy, but i haven't felt this kind of happy in years. i guess that empty part of myself has slowly been filling up. GOD, i am not over how cheesy i've been acting, thinking, and feeling. it all comes with those kind of feelings right? lol.

M A I K A maragp:
i just wish i could know if it'll be worth it in the end

Boy:
i know
i wish i could know that too
i want to believe that it will be worth it in the end
and i believe that it will be
but at the same time
i gotta respect how you feel
and give you your own time to form your decisions
and if somehow you believe that it wont be worth it
then i will respect that
you know what you want best

2009-10-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone...

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone...

Aahhh... aahhh...

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
http://www.elyricsworld.com/alone_lyrics_glee_cast.html
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

Alone... alone...

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark

to a woman

2009-10-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

so heartless.

if i'm so heartless, why does my heart feel so heavy now a days?

Words of Advice

2009-10-15T00:11:00.000-07:00

given to me today..

you can do way better

am i dumbing myself down? shit.

2009-10-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

i've been kinda addicted to this song lately. Vanilla Twilight by Owl City.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

it's just way too cute not to like. plus, as a girl, i think every one would love a guy to be so devoted to sing about love like this.

2009-10-08T17:44:00.001-07:00

i know you don't believe it anymore.

2009-09-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

School

2009-09-26T00:32:00.001-07:00

School's finally started! the last couple of days has been such a haze. i honestly don't remember what's been happening.. but it's definitely been eventful. in terms of being busy, work has always taken over my life. it's taken control even MORE recently because of all these special projects i'm having to do.

school started with ease. my professors are really chill and i actually really like my schedule alot. i have two night classes, two classes TuTh, and one MWF 11am class. inbetween all that, there's work here and there. it's a pretty sweet schedule.

all in all, i think i'll have a really good quarter, i'm pretty stoked about it all!

over my head

2009-09-25T09:54:00.001-07:00

no matter what's going on in my life, the only thing that seems to stay in my mind is love and everything around that. i may be busy with school and work, but what am i day dreaming about? it's such a girl thing.

true

2009-09-17T23:32:00.001-07:00

relevant

2009-09-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

i just felt like it was relevant.
not just for me, but for so many ppl in my life. haha.

2009-09-07T08:57:00.001-07:00

moving

2009-09-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

yet another move. it's nothing big this time. nothing compares to relocating across the ocean. just moving to a new apartment with familiar faces. i think it'll be really refreshing. it's really weird because the last time i saw criselle, my room mate for basically all of college, it was literally months ago. on a day where we were both tired as hell and just wanting to go home. now it's nearly three months later and we can't wait to get away from home. it'll be a new adventure rooming with all friends from the start.

i honestly do miss my old random roommates. i didn't know if we were going to get along in the beginning, but at the end of the year.. it was almost heartbreaking knowing we wouldn't be sharing the random laughs together. i'll never forget the first time i met stefany and karen, thinking it might not work because we weren't friends. i'll never forget all the random tv/movie sessions, the talks, the lakers games.. it was a good year and i'll never forget it :] so.. before the start of a new school year and new room mates, i just wanted to dedicate a blog to my old roomies! i miss you girls alot.

tumblr finds

2009-09-03T01:37:00.000-07:00

i've been on tumblr alot recently. i've decided to save the pictures i find on there instead of just admiring them so i can post them on here if i want.

this quote reminds me of my best friends. it was "our quote" for the longest time. even though jeseline, vladimir, and i are known as heartless and rude.. we love the idea of love. you can only love others if you love yourself.. <3

-woman so heartless

one of my favorite quotes

2009-08-31T22:18:00.001-07:00

dreams

2009-08-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

uh.. can dreams tell the future? i just have a feeling that dreams are what people want to happen instead of reality. i had a really weird, but great one last night. one that i didn't want to wake up from. one that.. i really wish was true. dreams can be so bittersweet.. it's great while its happening, but sad when you wake up. unfortunately for me, right after the the great shit that happened, i woke up because i was unsure if it was happening or not! i'm so retarded, now i don't know how it ended. LOL.

i always

2009-08-21T19:08:00.001-07:00

wonder about this.. especially since i was always moving and finding new people in my life.

it hurt the most the when i left san diego. it's hard leaving a place where people are used to people staying and never leaving.

colorgenics

2009-08-14T01:35:00.000-07:00

i was on my friend bryan's blog. he recently did this "colorgenics" test that told him about himself.

to my SHOCK, mine is EXACTLY me. i am not even kidding. everything from being proud to hiding my emotions. this was ridiculous. i feel like they literally read my personality from just me picking out colors. it's amazing.

Name: Maika
Date: 8/14/2009
Colorgenics Number: 23415607

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

calorie nazi?

2009-08-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

i stayed up last night reading Y! articles on health and losing weight. i've been really obsessed with being healthy this summer because every since college, i gained 5lbs every year. so in june, i weight a whopping 10lbs more than what i was when i graduated highschool. that was the biggest i've EVER been in my life (the new stretch marks can vouge for it -_____-). i've spent the summer losing weight the healthy way; dieting and exercise. literally, eating about 1300 calories a day and exercising up to 2 hours a day, a mixture of cardio and weight training. i can totally see a difference, from the way that my clothes fit to seeing myself in the mirror. it's a good feeling, but i'm aiming for higher goals. since june 21st of this year til today, august 9th, i've lost 10lbs. so that's about a pound and a half off every week. that's probably the healthiest way to lose weight, losing 2lbs or less a week. by september, i wanna lose another 5lbs. let's see if i can make it!

i've gotta say, through this journey, i've learned how to be patient. you can't ask your body to overload because you'll never see results the next day. it definitely takes a couple days, weeks, even months to see significant change. maybe that's why my past diets have never worked? patience is the key. after eating healthy with portions all summer, i have to admit.. i don't think i can eat food the same way anymore. LOL. as sad as that sounds. it's all about being satisfied than eating yourself to death. besides patience, control is definitely a factor!

well, there's my two cents for the day.

facing your fears

2009-08-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

i can truly say that this past week, i have been the most honest i've ever been openly in the past couple of years. i still cannot believe the brave face i put on to make confidence shattering confessions. it's those kind of conversations that lead you to become vulnerable, makes a big dent into the pride that has been built up to the sky. after letting out what was said, i felt like the smallest person imaginable and just wanted to crawl into a hole. it's amazing how the truth can free you though, i feel amazing, just a mere days later since the incident.

on another note,
my future roommate let me borrow a book named, jemima j.
its about this overweight woman who is 5'7 and over 200lbs. she's always been insecure about herself and when she has problems, she drowns her sorrows in food. she works at a small hometown newspaper with this gorgeous man named ben. in the end, she wants to change her life, so she signs up for a gym and diets, HARDCORE. she's one of those overweight women who are gorgeous big, and even more gorgeous thin. so she's so obsessed with losing weight that she works her body to the core that worries her trainer. ANYWAY, so loses this weight, gets a hot ass california boyfriend.. then ultimately, she ends up with the love of her life ben after transforing into a 120lb woman.

FIRST OFF, i just want to say that this book gives me motivation to lose weight. i'm not saying that the story is realistic, because it most certainly is NOT. who the HELL can lose that much weight and be as gorgeous as it says.. without stretchmarks and shit? c'mon, totally fake. but it's very inspiring to lose weight and find the man of your dreams, right? so even if it's fictional, i'm keeping the storyline in my head.

SECONDLY, i just felt like jemima changed herself for others instead of for her personal benefit. i mean, i totally admire the loss of weight and all.. but in the end, she ended up being as superficial as everyone else! and not only that, but the man of her dreams only fell in love with her because she was a skinny stick. he genuinely liked her as a person and a friend before, but when he sees her for the first time when shes skinny, he doesnt even recognize her! he only falls in love with her because she's like a size 4. so in a way, i feel like this book is sending the wrong messages, that you have to be 120lbs just for the man of your dreams to love you. that you can't find love at the weight you're comfortable with. i feel like it shows that men are ONLY in it for the looks, then later on for the rest. ben was blinded by jemima's fat in the beginning, he couldn't look at her any other way than a friend JUST because she was overweight. now she's gorgeous, he can't wait to get into her pants? YEAH EFFING RIGHT.

THIRDLY, i just don't know if i liked the book or hated it. i'm very neutral. it's amazing seeing a success story, but when looking deeper into the story, i hated the underlying message of it.

i'm just glad that i started reading again. i find that an accomplishment. LOL!

just of the past.

2009-07-31T21:08:00.001-07:00

i know that this song is about a boy who's in love with a girl but i was just randomly browsing through my music and was listening to this song.

it REALLY reminds me of my adolescence. especially when i was 16 (as the song says). i moved during that time and had to leave someone i cared about. this happened MULTIPLE times to me. this song definitely touches me in a happy/sad/reminiscent way.

nevershoutnever - losing it

just an update

2009-07-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

i haven't done anything amazing this summer except transforming myself into a calorie counting health nut. i think it's a good thing, and to be honest, i'm so excited to be getting on the scale and seeing results. i've been lifting a little here and there, i see and feel the difference.

anyway, i just wanted to document, for my purposes, that i can run 2 miles without stopping (dying) now :] i'm working towards more, but for now, i'm just so excited that i can do something i've never done before.

hopefully, once august comes and goes, i'll be more towards my target weight.

bring it on!

2009-07-25T23:25:00.000-07:00

THIS
is exactly what i've been going through since college started.
i. love. it.

2009-07-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

harry potter and the half blood prince.
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.

i'll write more after watching!
i'm so exciteddddddd.

EDIT: 3.45am after midnight showing.

OKAY, so those of you who haven't seen it, you shouldn't read this.

i'm just going to blog now, while things are fresh in my mind right after that epic adventure.

i thought the movie was brilliant. the way that they portrayed the book was exactly what i imagined in my mind. better yet, the movie blew my expectations for certain things. for sure, one of them was slughorn. when i was reading the book, i wasn't sure what to expect of him. i knew he was quirky, but the actor who played him was perfect! his little peeves and twerks made him such a memorable character in this movie. draco was also really impressive i think. tom felton has definitely grown as an actor. i loved how he kinda resembled a sort of crack addict unable to get his fix. Right when he's almost ready to rid the habit, he fails. it's sort of depressing that he's so into his task and nearly succeeds, but at the last minute he has some sort of compassion.

more importantly, i love how the three main characters have developed, not just as ron, hermione, and harry but ESPECIALLY the actors; rupert, emma, and daniel. i think when they first got cast it was for their looks rather than their talent. i think this movie definitely proved that they've grown comedically and dramatically. honestly, this was the best harry potter movie to date because it had every basic emotion. happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, love, lust, failure.. it was definitely THE movie that showed how the characters grew. i think rupert grint did such a great job in terms of his comedic acting. he is one of my favorite characters in the whole series and the way that rupert acted ron's most famous scenes were exactly what the real ron would do. along with the character growth, i really loved how they were also growing as regular teenagers. how they were dealing with love is exactly the way it does happen in real life.

the only things that aggrevated me about the movie were:
-the missing storyline of the gaunts
-the missing memories of tom riddle as a child
-fenir greyback's story
-where was dumbledore's funeral?
-the deatheater's at hogwarts wasn't as epic as i thought it would be. they straight up got there, and walked out without a fight.
-DEAN HAD NO LINES -______-
- the missing memory of the halfblood prince with lily and james

but i'd say the best parts were:
- the funny factor - this movie was definitely the funniest of the bunch.
- the love triangles between the couples. Lavender brown was crazy. Hermione's the best jealous bitch ever. Harry and ginny kissing in a mysterious room.
- dumbledore's death was so epic. the end where they all raise their wands was such a touching moment.
- professor slughorn is unforgettable.
- CORMAC MCLAGGEN.
- the scene in the cave was as scary as i thought it would be.
- quidditch.
- funny again.
- cormac again.

i know there might seem like there are more cons than pros, but honestly, i loved the movie adaptation. i definitely will say that this is the best harry potter movie to date. as an avid harry potter fan since i was in elementary school, you can't really enjoy a movie about your favorite book without being this critical right? lol. if anything, i could've been more critical!

i loved it. i can't wait to see it again :D

Why nice guys finish last..

2009-07-09T00:08:00.000-07:00

i have been meaning to write this post for a while. i read THIS article a while ago while surfing the yahoo home page. keep in mind, while i'm writing this i'm listening to sappy taylor swift love songs, so that might shift my mood a little bit.

so as i was reading, it started to make alot of sense. here's the explanation straight from the article:

"The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable."

so after i read that, i felt like it had some truth in there. i'm not talking about MARRIAGE status tho.. i think this article is implied simply for dating. although i'm sure this can be applied to some marriages. but back to the point.. SURE, all girls will say that they like the nice boys. maybe they'll even date nice boys. but in the end, i feel like girls in teens and 20's are always falling for the boy who isn't considered that nice boy.

i think it's true. when a boy is made so available, it's kinda like you can take advantage of that so fast. making yourself so available makes it seem like there isn't anything to fight for.

i feel like i had more to say about this, but i think i'm actually kind of done.

my summer savior

2009-07-05T02:21:00.000-07:00

honestly,
where would we all be without television?
i know people say that it's bad for you. blah blah blah.
to me, it gives me the same sensation that reading does. just.. easier. HAHA.
it gives me the ability to dive into another world.. something i'm not able to exist in.
when i'm not mindlessly watching tv and actually really into it, i get so emotionally connected to characters that i feel like i'm friends with them. for example, FRIENDS. watching that show for so many years now, i feel like i know their stories like the back of my hand. there have even been shows that have made me cry (which, everyone knows i DONT ever cry. like EVER. there are FEW exceptions).

this is literally a filler blog. i figure i should update somehow.
but everything i wrote is true.

i love television.
i love the stories.
i love the characters.
i love being in another world that isn't mine,
only temporarily of course.

defines

2009-06-29T02:21:00.001-07:00

postsecret.

for my friends i've made in college.
the new, the old, the ties made stronger.
i love you all.
thanks for helping me become a better person.

Summer upkeep

2009-06-27T02:43:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update on the whole maika vs. weight situation.

I've been working out, but I'm not going to lie, i didn't work out Sunday-Monday-or Tuesday. I've only recently gotten back on the work out wagon. I've definitely been eating healthier though. Making sure to stay away from fatty foods, eating 1 cup of rice a meal, and ALOT of fruits and vegetables.

I've lost like 3lbs so far since the last time I blogged.
I hope that's consistent this summer.
and my hair is growing out! I'm definitely over my A-line cut phase and I want hair back.

Cheers to being healthy!
I. CAN. DO. THIS.

(i need to have these affirmations daily, or else i'm going to fail at dieting and exercising. so be prepared to read these blogs often!)

confusion-ism

2009-06-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

i've always hated the time before you think something is going to happen with someone because it's almost always unpredictable until something is said verbally. Actions are not justified until words solidify them. The argument of friend carded vs. love interest is always in the back of your mind, and that's never a fun discussion. Unless you're on the love train of course, but sometimes it's hard to determine.

But the real question is, when is it the right time to say something? Another question is.. would you risk ruining a friendship knowing it could be shattered the second you say something?

eh, it's just something i've been thinking about. well, it's something that i've ALWAYS thought about.. in this day and age of really comfortable relationships between friends, it's even hard to distinguish whether or not you have feelings for a friend. Sometimes, you can get confused just because you can be really close friends. I sometimes ask myself.. "WAIT, what is going on here? Do i actually have feelings for this boy or is it because i really care about them as a friend?" .. especially when you're in college, and becoming really really close friends with boys isn't taboo; there are no such things are cooties.

GOAL FOR SUMMER

2009-06-20T22:59:00.001-07:00

i have an ultimate goal this summer: to lose weight.

exercise has been the vain of my existance for the last year. this summer, i want to make some changes in my life and my body. i gained so much weight since i got to college (a good 15-20lbs) and it's time to do something about that. a couple summers ago, i lost 15lbs from just working out everyday and eating less. i'm hoping that i can do that again, but i need some major motivation for this. i'm SO ready for this. i don't really have any plans this summer; no job, no summer school.. so it's definitely the right time to buckle down on working out and getting healthy.

my plan is..
2 hours on the treadmill everyday (morning and night) &/OR taebo kickboxing for an hour.

eating LESS.
- no soda
- no sugar and sweets
- less carbs
- alot of healthy protein

ITS ON SUMMER.

DAY 1

2009-06-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

of being home, and it's been really great. i have to admit, i really love sitting around doing nothing. i was kind of productive today just because i had to unpack all my belongings from my car. tomorrow, i have no plans whatsoever. i'll probably be applying for more jobs. let's see if i get hired!

i know that i'm going to start missing irvine once i hit one week of being home. i already slightly miss it. after this horrible quarter, sleep deprived nights, and hectic work schedule i don't think ill be missing irvine for a while. i know it'll hit me, and once it does, i won't be suprised if i get extremely depressed for a bit.

in other news,
LAKERS DOMINATED IN THE NBA FINALS :D

MVP!

ps. finally flied high for the first time. amazingggggg.

late night talk

2009-06-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

It's finals week and you know what I ended up doing last night?
I had a very insightful talk with one of my friends about relationships.

Argument goes as follows,
when person A likes person B, person A makes the effort to get something to happen. The only way the relationship is legitimized is if person B recognizes that effort and entertains the idea.

I was saying that when relationships usually start, it's the boy who gets to chose the girl (IN MOST CASES, there are exceptions). Boys usually have the ability to find a girl and if they are even slightly interested, can make the move. Boys have all the power. When a girl likes a boy it's seen as aggressive and sometimes, that can be deemed unacceptable or even thought of as bitch-is-crazy.

Yes, girls can have crushes on the boy. and Yes, girls can try to get the boy by upping the game with dressing nicer or flirting, but essentially, it's the boys who have all the power.

What sucks even more is that when girls like the boys, some boys will never even categorize them in the same field as possible significant others. Why? Because boys are stupid. HAHA, no really. It's because the boys have the power in' determining if a relationship is going to happen or not.

I'm not saying girls don't have a say in all this. When a boy entertains the idea, the girl can say yes or no, which can lead to having a relationship or not. But essentially, boys are the starter off-ers and the girls just kind of wait for amazing to happen.

Disclaimer,
this theory isn't true all the way around though, because there have been cases where girls put themselves out there and eventually get what they want. right ms. esther? :] you're an example we should all follow!

in other news,
ONE MORE FINAL LEFT!
time to own
(more like.. be owned)

random songs i should DL

2009-06-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

modest mouse - world at large
karma police - radiohead

Update

2009-06-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

So the last time i blogged was week 2 out of 10 of school.

it's officially FINALS week of school, and honestly, i am SO SICK of anything related to school that i've kind of given up. i'm even learning to accept that i might even fail a class. this is all probably due to the fact that my mind is utterly tired from writing papers, reading chapters, going to lectures, and lacking sleep.

I. AM. OVER. IT.

although, i'm going to admit it, my summer is going to suck. i'm not going to be doing anything; no job, no school, NOTHING. i'm looking forward to working out, sleeping in, reading, and movie a ton of movies. i hope i can visit alot of friends over the summer as well.

it's finals week.
and what am i doing?

watching he's just not that into you while trying to study for math (and not really studying).
with great company.
sounds like a great night to me.

School

2009-04-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

i'm currently taking 20 units in school, which is way above the average. to be a full time student it's only 12 units, and usually students only take 16. so i'm taking an extra class to catch up with my major studies.

i'm not going to lie, it's so hard to keep up with school especially when you're also on the schedule for work. i have to fit in studying between work while also waking up early for 9am classes every morning. it's a tough schedule but i'm learning to deal with it. it's something that i really want to accomplish because i think it'll help me overcome my laziness with school.

it's only been week 2 of 10 at school, and i'm already going insane.

maika vs. school is on.

2009-04-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

i wish.. this applied to me.

Picture life before I knew you
It was alright, it was ok
I'll paint my life before I loved you
There were never pictures in the hallway
There were no fireworks
There was no grand allure
That only happened when you came through my door
And oh now
Life feels more than amazing
In your eyes
It feels like I've been stargazing

Stargazing - Leon Jackson

2009-03-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

the first blog should be something meaningful.